Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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