He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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