there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
