I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
