Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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