i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
