End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
