I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just want to make out with him forever
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize