She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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