I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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