Operation Purity has been aborted
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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