i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
