I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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