If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
