PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
