Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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