i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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