Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How does one acquire holy water?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
