I think I just saw someone hide a body.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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