Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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