I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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