ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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