He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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