And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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