"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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