this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
