Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
