dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
