I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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