If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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