He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
