it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
