he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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