woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Who died my cat blue again?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
