I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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