Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize