Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
