you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
