ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
