Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
