either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
