Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
