Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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