Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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