idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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