i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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