if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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