We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
