just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
