I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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