So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
