so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
