no, he came in my armpit
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
