im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize