I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We're not piercing ourselves today.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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