Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
