I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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