Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize