It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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