i would punch a child for taco bell
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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