I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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