This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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