Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
