Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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