you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
