if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
