Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
