It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
