Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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