Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There are leaves in my underwear?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize